A truly novel gift, this personalised spoof newspaper cover is presented in either a tube roll or a contemporary black or white frame. The colourful cover comes in A3 size. You can read how the story will go underneath. To order, simply complete the personalised details and click add to cart.
You can also add your own photo to the front page.
NEW - Next working day delivery for this novel gift now available.
If bringing to a party or an event, you can also order additional non-framed prints.
The date field refers to the date of the newspaper print.
Sample story – the names, places and dates in bold are examples; yours replace them:
Headline: DECLAN MURPHY RETIRES!
Sub-headline: Athlone Celebrates as Global Stock Markets Fall 15%
Story:
When Declan Murphy first announced his forthcoming retirement from Lakeside Motors, stock markets on both sides of the world, as expected, slid by over 5 percent. Now that his final days have come, again the markets have reacted negatively.
‘As if the Irish economy is not challenged enough,’ commented An Taoiseach Micheál Martin. ‘With Murphy’s retirement, we may have to revisit the Troika in the near future seeking another bailout.’
Colleagues at Lakeside Motors have voiced their concern at Declan’s departure. ‘I’ve a pretty handy number at Lakeside Motors,’ said one employee in the strictest of confidence. ‘We might all have to actually do some work around here without Declan taking up most of the slack. I’m really worried.’
The celebrations will continue as planned, however, with many celebrities jetting into Athlone. ‘It’s going to be awesome,’ quipped Bono. ‘Declan wants to go out in style, and we’re here to make sure that happens.’ One definite guest to his retirement party will be American President Donald Trump. ‘Unknown to many, Declan’s been my behind-the-scenes advisor over the years,’ he said, ‘I’ve always seen myself as his Apprentice’.
What’s next for Declan? Lakeside Motors has booked an all expenses paid holiday as a surprise gift. ‘Declan’s off for a few weeks of sun, sand, sea and sangria!’ chuckled an unnamed member of management. ‘I can’t wait to see his face when he arrives in Bundoran, Donegal.’
Although finally calling it quits at Lakeside Motors, Murphy hardly looks like a typical retiree. Many skin care experts have hounded Murphy for the secret to his boyish good looks and sublime physique. Although he puts it down simply to his constant moisturising, and sleeping twelve hours a day, many are left to wonder if the skilful use of a surgeon’s knife can’t be fully ruled out.
Whatever is planned for this retirement of the year, we would also like to wish Declan Murphy a Happy and Long Retirement.
