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Headline: [FIRSTNAME] [SURNAME] VOTED 2018 FATHER OF THE YEAR
Sub-headline: [HOMETOWN] Dad Receives Top Award
Black tuxedos, designer names and glamorous models were in abundance yesterday evening as a line of Mercedes cars queued outside the Shelbourne Hotel in Dublin city centre. A few members of the public waited patiently in the rain to catch a glimpse of the celebrity dads as paparazzi camera flashes lit up their faces.
Colin Farrell was one of the first to arrive, followed quickly by Keith Duffy, and then eight-time winner Bono. Entertainment was provided by Daniel O’Donnell, but it was for the award ceremony that everyone had come.
Paddy Power bookmakers had Bono as a clear favourite to win again this year. Then sometime this summer [FIRSTNAME] [SURNAME] came to the attention of the judges. [FIRSTNAME], a [HOMETOWN] native, and father of [NUM_CHILDREN] children, has really captured the hearts of both the judges and the public.
Silence fell in the ceremony hall as its host, the fathers’ favourite, Georgia Salpa, opened the golden envelope to announce the 2014 Father of the Year Award. ‘OMG,’ she commented before she read out the name, ‘I’m not surprised in the least, and he’s certainly one of my favourites – [FIRSTNAME] [SURNAME].’
Cheers and applause echoed throughout the room, with only the noticeable exceptions of Bono and Ronan Keating, who both scowled at the winner. As humble as ever, [FIRSTNAME] dedicated the award to ‘all the fathers of the world,’ and thanked his family for inspiring him to be the wonderful person that he is.
[FIRSTNAME] will be jetted off this weekend, as part of his prize, to an all expenses paid trip to New York with a friend of his choice. Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz and Twink have all offered to accompany him. Other prizes such as a year’s worth of Botox treatment and use of a personal trainer will go to waste as [SURNAME] obviously has no need of them.
‘It’s such a pity he won’t be on the Late Late Show next week,’ Ryan Tubridy said. ‘Apparently every Friday is family night. I guess that’s why [FIRSTNAME] is so outstanding as a dad.’
We at the Irish Gazette would also like to wish [FIRSTNAME] [SURNAME] our congratulations for being the deserved winner of such a prestigious award.