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Headline: [FIRSTNAME] [SURNAME] VOTED [YEAR] GRANDAD OF THE YEAR
Sub-headline: [HOMETOWN] Grandad Receives Top Award
Black tuxedos, designer names and glamorous models were in abundance yesterday evening as a line of Mercedes cars queued outside the Shelbourne Hotel in Dublin city centre. A few members of the public waited patiently in the rain to catch a glimpse of the celebrity grandads as paparazzi camera flashes lit up their faces.
Bob Geldolf was one of the first to arrive, followed quickly by Enda Kenny, and then eight-time winner Bertie Ahern. Entertainment was provided by Nathan Carter, but it was for the award ceremony that everyone had come.
Paddy Power bookmakers had Bertie as a clear favourite to win again this year. Then sometime this summer [FIRSTNAME] [SURNAME] came to the attention of the judges. [FIRSTNAME], a [HOMETOWN] native, and grandfather of [NUM_GRANDCHILDREN], has really captured the hearts of both the judges and the public.
Silence fell in the ceremony hall as its host, the grandfathers’ favourite, Miriam O'Callaghan, opened the golden envelope to announce the [YEAR] Grandfather of the Year Award. ‘OMG,’ she commented before she read out the name, ‘I’m not surprised in the least, and he’s certainly one of my favourites – [FIRSTNAME] [SURNAME].’
Cheers and applause echoed throughout the room, with only the noticeable exceptions of Bertie Ahern and Brendan O’Carroll, who both scowled at the winner. As humble as ever, [FIRSTNAME] dedicated the award to ‘all the grandfathers of the world,’ and thanked his children and especially his grandchildren for inspiring him to be the wonderful person that he is.
[FIRSTNAME] will be jetted off this weekend, as part of his prize, to an all-expenses paid trip to New York with a friend of his choice. Helen Mirren, Sharon Stone and Twink have all offered to accompany him. Other prizes such as a year’s worth of Botox treatment and use of a personal trainer will go to waste as [SURNAME] obviously has no need of them.
‘It’s such a pity he won’t be on the Late Late Show next week,’ Ryan Tubridy said. ‘Apparently every Friday is date night, and he has to babysit the grand kids. I guess that’s why [FIRSTNAME] is so outstanding as a grandad.’
We at the Irish Gazette would also like to wish [FIRSTNAME] [SURNAME] our congratulations for being the deserved winner of such a prestigious award.