Fifty Shades of Grey - Newspaper Spoof (FEMALE)

A truly novel gift, this personalised spoof newspaper cover is presented in either a tube roll or a contemporary black frame. The colourful cover comes in A3 size. You can read how the story will go underneath. To order, simply complete the personalised details and click add to cart.

NEW - Next working day delivery for this novel gift now available.

If bringing to a party or an event, you can also order additional non-framed prints.

The date field refers to the date of the newspaper print.

Sample Newspaper for Joan Bloggs from Rialto

Headline: JOAN BLOGGS TIPPED TO PLAY LEAD IN MOVIE FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

Sub-Headline: Rialto woman offered €10m to play role of Anastasia Steele

Story:

For more than a year now, the streets of Hollywood have been awash with rumours of who would eventually play the provocative role of Anastasia Steele in Universal Picture’s planned blockbuster Fifty Shades of Grey. Many A-List names have already been associated with the pre-production casting: Amanda Seyfried from Mama Mia, and Anne Hathaway were the two hot favourites until recently.

A new name has emerged however, Joan Bloggs from Rialto. This young woman has quickly shot to the top of the favourite’s list for both Hollywood’s elite and the general public. The gifted star has kept a very low profile until recent photos of her appeared in The Irish Times front page attending a Chippendale’s show.

‘We need a real stunner for the role,’ Charles Baumann from Universal Pictures commented. ‘There’s no doubt in my mind that Joan has that quality in buckets, but we haven’t made any decisions as yet.’

E.L. James, its writer, said she’d love to see Bloggs take on the part. ‘I think she could really capture the essence of Anastasia Steele; beautiful, sexy, but with a certain vulnerability.’ She even offered to increase her pay if she accepts the role.

Robert Pattinson from the Twilight series has been asked to play opposite Bloggs, but so far has refused to accept until Bloggs confirms she’ll take the role. ‘I’ve wanted to work with her for some time now, and to even learn something from her massive talent.’ He has offered to lower his normal fee, later adding, ‘I don’t mind admitting that there are one or two scenes that I’m really looking forward to!’

We caught up with Joan as she attended her weekly therapy sessions for dealing with her affliction of being too magnificent. ‘It’s really helping me to accept others who simply aren’t as perfect as me,’ she said, before quickly adding, ‘which is pretty much everyone else, I guess.’

I asked Joan how she felt about participating in the BDSM scenes for the film, but she didn’t seem to know what that was, so I asked her what she planned to do with her huge salary. ‘I’d like to do something for charity,’ she answered, ‘maybe start a foundation for others who are burdened by perfection like me. That and go see the Cippendales again.’