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Headline: FIRSTNAME SURNAME AWARDED ‘BEST GIRL 2016’
Sub-headline: Ireland Celebrates Best Boy of the Year
For the first time in over fifty years, the annual ‘Best Girl in the World’ award is going to an Irish girl. Television cameras and newspaper journalists gathered outside the home of FIRSTNAME SURNAME this morning to interview this remarkable young girl.
Her hometown of HOMETOWN is reported to be filled with pride and honour, although most of the residents say that they are not really that surprised. ‘She’s such a lovely and pretty girl,’ said one of her neighbours. ‘FIRSTNAME is such a treasure to her family and an absolute pleasure to talk to.’
When the award was announced by Santa from the North Pole last night, the President of Ireland, Michael D. Higgins said that he was delighted to hear the news. American President Barack Obama said afterwards that he would be keeping a close eye on FIRSTNAME. ‘I have no doubt’ he said, ‘that this young Irish girl will achieve great things in her life.’
Everybody knew that FIRSTNAME was near the top of Santa’s list already, for being such a good girl all year. ‘She has been so great all summer,’ said Santa. ‘Then when she went back to school, she was so brilliant that she went straight to the top of my list.’
So far, FIRSTNAME, aged AGE, has not been interviewed. Ryan Tubridy from the Late Late Show is hoping to be the first person to interview her this weekend. ‘I simply can’t wait to get FIRSTNAME on the show,’ he said. ‘The whole country is so proud of her.’
FIRSTNAME’s teachers and school friends are also planning a special party for her. ‘I know I’m not supposed to have a favourite pupil,’ said TEACHERNAME, ‘but FIRSTNAME is certainly the smartest girl that I have ever seen in all my career as a teacher.’
2017 is going to be a fantastic year for FIRSTNAME, and we at the Irish Gazette would like to send our congratulations to her and wish her a very Happy Christmas.